As I listened to the voice mail, I knew the time had finally come for an answer. I hadn't really worried about whether I was going to get the job or not after the interview. Instead of wondering if I'm good enough, I've been sticking to the "I am who I am" policy. I know that it doesn't really matter if I'm good enough at all, because God can do anything through me if it is His will. For 10 days I had been calm and patient, but yesterday broke my stoicism. All of the sudden I thought, "What if they tell me no? What if they choose someone else? What will I do then?" I spent the rest of the evening trying to quiet those nagging questions.
I woke up this morning with that phone call hanging over my head. "No matter what, I trust You LORD!" I prayed and then picked up the phone.
After the hellos she said, "We talked about all the interviews and it was a really hard decision."
I knew then that I didn't get it.
"You were one of the top 3 but..." and she started telling me why they chose the other girl. I hardly heard another word because disappointment washed over me like a flood. I dropped to the bed, engulfed in confusion. I was surprised, but somehow I already knew the answer I got today. Wait. Why had God directed me to pursue an open door just to shut it in my face? He knows my heart is to do His will, so why the waiting?
"For still the vision awaits its appointed time;
it hastens to the end—it will not lie.
If it seems slow, wait for it;
it will surely come; it will not delay."
(Habakkuk 2:3)
Wait. I'm pretty tired of hearing that word. I've gotten past feeling useless at home everyday. I have a schedule now and have plenty to occupy my time. I have my little photography business...but I know there is more. I know God is calling me to something else, but I must await the vision. On days like today, it is hard to wait. Still, I find my faith grows stronger with every passing trial; it is built up by waiting on God's direction.
The will of God is found in the pursuit of God...so I pursue and I wait.
38 comments:
Amen! I'm waiting too...and man is it hard.
I have been waiting for months for a job. and it is so hard. I have been crying for the past few days because Im sick of feeling so worthless, so useless, not good enough. It sucks
I'm waiting too... it's really difficult... We are in the same boat!
My husband and I waited TWO very long years for him to get the job he has now... it was probably the hardest thing we have ever gone through. But looking back, our faith was strengthened and we truly learned to trust in God during those times.
I have full confidence that God is molding & shaping you during this season... and the refined result at the end will prove to be well worth the agonizing process!!
Hugs, girl! xo
Same. Exact. Place. And keeping that verse from Habakkuk close to my heart as well. We are women who are strong, confident, and full of the grace and favor of God. It's coming. Thanks for sharing your heart.
-stephanie
praying for you friend. i know it's hard...i've been there too. just try and enjoy the time you have right now. God will provide. love you!
I'm sorry, but wait to go for KNOWING that God has bigger things in store for you. The waiting must be so hard, but girl, you can do it if you keep leaning on Him!!
I got a guitar recently (thank God!!!) and thought of you. I wish you lived in NorCal so we could get together and jam!
You are so self-actualized, my dear. You know exactly how to handle this kind of thing. That said, I still feel for you, as I have been in your shoes many 'a time.
I'm sorry that you didn't get it, but eventually God will use this experience in some way. Whether it's tomorrow or 10 years from now. God is faithful.
God has big plans for you. you are so brave to wait for His timing...
The good ole waiting game...its hard sometimes to wait and wonder about things, but I've gotten better in trusting His will...realizing if its His will...IT WILL HAPPEN...when he see's fit. Better opportunties are just around the corner for you, doll.
oh do I feel for you too. Kendall and I are waiting for direction. We did what we thought we were supposed to do (me moving back to my hometown with him) and still feel confident that at the time it was the right decision. Now things happened where we are questioning if we did the right thing (pastor we were supposed to help moved away, i was declined financial aid, hours didn't transfer giving me another 2+ plus years of college, etc.)
I don't know where we are going, but i do know that I will serve Him while I am waiting and I guess that is all you can do...
Just keep bringing Glory to his name Sister!
-Breanne
I'm having a really hard time waiting myself. But it's so hard, especially when I'm in school and not knowing what type of career I want to pursue.. I just want to know what God has in store for me now!
The whole summer I struggled and applied to so many jobs. I ended up with a teaching job that I hadn't even applied for...God takes care of us. Sometimes in odd and bizarre ways. It could have even been with me not having a teach up.
Waiting is hard...it's one of the things that separates us from our. Our inability to see from his perspective for our plan.
Dear, I promise He is faithful.
It's going to be worth it. Wait the way a waitress waits tables... Do only as far as He leads.
love you, sweet girl.
so blessed by your heart for his will.
keep clinging to his promises-he is faithful! xo
He definitely opens another door as soon as one closes, though its hard to understand.
I fully know the feelings on being told to 'wait', it sucks, no fun, frustrating and I'm pretty sure I ask why at least 5-10 times a day, but wait is all He says, so waiting I must do.
But I'm with you that our faith grows stronger each time. Which is what I think He wants. He's tricky like that. haha
Emily w/Amazing Grapes
you're so right about it not really mattering if we're good enough! Thank you :)I've never thought about it that way
Never an easy thing. God bless....
"The will of God is found in the pursuit of God"
Wow. I seriously love that truth.
my sister is in the exact same place...i know how tough it can be. i'll be praying for peace in God's plan moment by moment day by day.
I'm so sorry you didn't get the job you hoped for and put so much effort into Jennifer! I admire your faith, and your endurance. Have you ever listened to Misty Edwards? You can go to her website and watch her sermons and she's a musician. Anyway, she always talks about how we have a "need for endurance". I know because you are a faithful daughter, you will will persevere...but I am sorry for your disappointment, I feel for you! Hang in there! And fall into the hands that made you.....
Aww, man that is a hard place to be in, but God is so faithful! I tried to get a job at three different camps this past summer and was turned down by all of them. Even though I didn't get a job this summer, I made wonderful friends and got to spend quality time with my family. I'm still waiting to get jobs at my university now, but I know that God will give me the right job when the time is right, just like he'll do for you. I'm really excited to hear what God has in store for you. :)
I can't imagine how hard this is for you. I am keeping you in my prayers. And I can't wait for the post when we all get to find out what God has had in store for you all this time!
Aw that sucks :( But glad you are able to trust in Him to provide and that His timing is better than anything we could ever dream of. Keep holding on!!!!
I love that in this season ... you continue to rise up and pursue hope, dreams, vision and purpose ... the very best is still ahead of you.
Hugs and prayers for you :) Disappointment can be better, but we serve a God who is greater than any disappointment you'll ever face. He's got big plans for you:)
everytime i read your blog i litereally feel God's presence on it, i think it's because you are right in the middle of one his many major moves in your life. i know it's doesn't feel so great right but i have so much faith that this time is going to prove to be exactly what it needed to be. praying for peace in your spirit! love u xoxo
there is nothing harder than waiting. but remember as you wait to listen & look for the Lord. going on that job interview was just a confirmation that you are right where he wants you and has asked you to be. you're doing great!
stopped by from call me blessed.
Hang in there, darlin'! You are a beautiful girl with such a strong, sweet soul. I know that you already know the right job will come along in His time. I'll be praying for you!
I'm so sorry to hear that, but I'm also so encouraged by this post. I love your last line- The will of God is found in the pursuit of God. So true. We talked about waiting last night at my Bible study and what I learned is that we are going to be waiting on a LOT of things in life, so it's good to learn how to pursue the Lord amidst it now. Praying for you.
He is molding you, girl! Keep on being patient and waiting joyfully. You are totally in the right place!
Waiting is so hard. Good ole Beth Moore once said, "If you have a heart that is seeking God's will, His will is going to find you. So stop freaking out." :) love that quote!
Hi, friend! Thinking of you today and praying for you!
Love that verse from Habakkuk!
Girl, I am so tired of the word 'wait' too.
So admiring you for not settling for anything but God's best!
So sorry that you didn't get the job, but seriously, you are going to be blessed for obeying God in due time!! You are such a blessing to this world and such a light for Jesus!
so sorry to hear that :( but i'm sure an amazing door will open soon~
I wish we could meet for coffee.. Your wisdom and writing is such an encouragement. I know it comes from knowing and encountering Christ and walking with him many years but it is such a blessing :).
My gosh, i feel like I wait SO MUCH. (God showed my friend that verse a while ago and it's absolutely amazing)
Lovely. It takes adversary to get to our blessings!
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