Sometimes I find that I beat myself up for having emotions. By nature, I am a pretty steady person. My emotions hardly ever fluctuate and it takes a lot for me to get upset or offended. When I do get emotional I hate myself for being so silly, but this shoot made me realize that woman's emotions are a beautiful thing. I wanted to be full of emotion because emotions are tied to femininity.
Women have the capability to feel things deeply. Our femininity allows us to have the capacity to mother children, to love and follow our husbands, to hurt when they hurt...to feel what they feel. Our emotions help bind us so tightly to the ones we love that little can break those ties. It is powerful. It's not a bad thing; it's beautiful.
I would say that I am a "girly girl", but I always equated that with dresses and curls. I realize now that I've been leaving out an important part of femininity. My emotions shouldn't be pushed down inside me when they start to arise. Feeling isn't bad. I may need to control them, but I don't need to make sure they don't come out at all.
I think that being job-less for the past few weeks has helped me realize this. I am a very determined and go-getter type of person. I like my own independence. I feel bad sometimes for having to depend on my husband for everything and suddenly becoming a full-time homemaker has been an adjustment to say the least.
Through this journey I've become a bit more emotional (and by that I mean maybe crying twice! Ha!). One day I told Jonathan that I was so mad that I was feeling all of these things and He said, "That's how your'e made Jen. God gave you emotions." Now, I see that my emotions are closely tied to my femininity. I am happy now to feel. I love making our home a safe and relaxing place for our little family. My emotions tie me these things and I am glad. God made women this way for a reason! I just never saw the benefit of that reason until now!
Have you ever hated your emotions or femininity before?
PS: You can find more of the photos from this shoot on my facebook page and photography blog!