The Difference Project: 2nd & 3rd Month

It has officially been 1 day without any coffee at all.

Honestly, I never thought I'd be able to say "I don't drink coffee". I have loved it since middle school. Despite being extra tired from lack of sleep, I woke up this morning with no desire for coffee whatsoever. No headache. No desire for it at all. (This never happens! Normally I head straight to the kitchen to make a pot.) In my last update, I really felt like I should give up coffee. I don't need to be so dependent on it, especially when I go to Ethiopia this fall. God is proving to me time and time again that He will give me the strength to do what He has called me to do. As silly as it may seem, quiting coffee has helped grow my faith in God...and so has the rest of this project thus far.

These past two months were a whole lot harder than expected. I had to go to Target to get a few wedding presents and had to force myself not to take a peek at all the cute summer clothes. I've had several strong urges to buy some new things, especially before going to weddings. I've also found myself making a mental list of all the things I "need" for my trip to Ethiopia. Yet, time and time again God breaks me, breaks my heart and I remember why He led me to do this. Through this project, my heart's sinful, selfish, and egocentric ways have come to light. At times I pity myself, feel proud of this project and others I am humbled before my Lord in tears, appalled by what is in my heart. Oh, if it were not for grace!

Today I read Psalm 57 in a different perspective. I challenge you to read this from the point of view of a young girl in sex-slavery, forced to be with 30-40 men a day. She cannot escape. Imagine reading this as an 8 year old boy forced to fight and kill in a war that is not his own. He must murder innocent people, or die. Feel the pain of a poor mother who has just had her first child. She is so malnourished that every day is one step closer to death by starvation. But her child, her precious child....is there any hope?

Now read it. How can I now go out and spend money on frivolous things? How can you?

Psalm 57

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.
²I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.
³He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples me.

God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness! 

⁴My soul is in the midst of liona; I lie down amid fiery beasts—
the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows,

 whose tongues are sharp swords.

⁵Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth!
 ⁶They set a net for my steps; my soul was bowed down.
They dug a pit in my way, but they have fallen into it themselves.
⁷My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast! I will sing and make melody!
⁸Awake, my glory! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn!
⁹I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples;
 I will sing praises to you among the nations.
¹⁰For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.
¹¹Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth!

I'm not saying all this to make you feel bad for drinking coffee or buying things you don't need. I certainly have lots of things that I don't need still. I am just hoping to be a part of a generation that lives for more than American dream, a generation that lives for Christ above all else. My desire is to be the difference to the needy in the name of Jesus and in order to further the gospel.