Have you ever been a part of something bigger than yourself, something that consumes you and makes you feel more alive than ever?
When I am a part of leading worship or just worshiping, something comes alive in me that otherwise lies dormant. When I was little I used to imagine that my soul was like a dove that soared up to heaven when I praised God. Sometimes I could feel my heart being lifted up, rising on unseen wings. Every fiber of my being was full of life and every breath an expression of my soul. It’s like some kind of dynamic energy courses through my veins. The switch is thrown and light floods every part of me.
In these moments, the depth of who I am is laid bare. In God’s presence there is no hiding. All my sin is exposed. At times tears of brokenness pour out, and at others my heart simply overflows with praise for such a great salvation. When I open wide my heart in praise to my Savior, all scars are healed, my sin forgiven, my pride burnt to ashes, my life filled with His Spirit and the very deepest longings of my soul are satisfied. Here I glimpse His glory and my desires become attuned to his purpose.
So how can I live for myself after such encounters?
But I do.
My life is riddled with selfishness. My heart tries to serve self and Christ. And it can’t be done. I will always love one and hate the other. I can justify it and make excuses all I want. But the fact still remains: I must choose.
My Savior has awakened my soul from death for a purpose – His glory. Will I waste my life on things than deaden my soul, or will I choose to live a life of worship?